I am tired. really very tired.

I need a break..

I am so dead. screwed so many stuff. I kept thinking but all there ain't solutions at all..

Lingering in my mind. it didnt want to go away.

Mmm. okay. Talked to him. Had a small conversation.. As he walked away, I could see his back and I almost felt like crying. Well things have changed. Maybe he didn't mind taking a minor role. We seemed to have him neglected.. When I saw him the other day in the room, I looked at him and could feel the passion inside him. gosh. it's been almost 4 years already. he never blamed me for anything. nothing. even though I AM lousy and stuff, he never failed to reassure me that everything will be fine. just do your best. yea. that's what he always say. maybe I hafnt done enough. enough for me to face him without feeling ashame and guilt within me.

Lousy. Loser.

Thinking about things that's kinda not related to me. Or maybe, got to do with me but doesn't require me to think so much, afterall, its all about enjoying it. enjoying music. i miss so many things. miss em badly..

Trombone section outing 2005

yay. I am joyful. I didn't know that a simple day out can make me happy. Its been like don't know how long our last outing was.. when I was in sec1 I think.. and monica can still remember what she wore! we did bowling that time.. well I feel exuberant. no idea why. Took neo and I can't help but to think about the past when seniors were still around.. Pity that rochelle and vivian didnt come.. else it would have been complete section outing.. well nonetheless I am glad. Mmmm. val told me some stuff on the bus. she's always so inspiring. can't stand it. everytime she says something I will really stop to ponder.. haha.. okay. thanks val! you're great. to sy and shinni, you guys seemed to be doing quite well! take care eh! all the best for all of you mid-year and block tests.

miss ya guys lots.

some stuff that happened really set me thinking.. and I got to realise so much.. I used to take some many things for granted, thinking that it will all stay forever.. but well.. maybe it won't..

Mmm okay. I went malaysia on saturday.. The best part I guess was taking a boat ride and seeing all the fireflies light up the trees.. for a moment, I wished I could catch all these fireflies and give it all to you.. maybe these fireflies can give you some light in your life.. and bring you out of darkness.. but still.. its only a wish.. for fireflies doesn't belong to us human..

Hmm.. you don't think so much anymore ya.. everything will turn out fine.. it will..

had fun washing all the instruments. 3rd time doing the washing and it will be the last time I wil be washing it. heh. im tired. simple day. went kap and ate quite a lot of food brokee..

god bless.

I pray.. pray for you to be fine.. I ask for nothing more.

im feeling so zi bei. thanks to my lousy playing skills. yes. practise. my lips can't take long hours of playing anymore.. need to build endurance.. thanks mrs wong for the noodles.. hah.. and hmm.. thank ms chong! dont ask me why i am thanking her coz i got no idea too.. still. THANK YOU.

Hmmm... Slept the whole of today. wasted my time. Okay. first thing I want to do after O's : go visit lakeside family centre. sounds stupid but ya.. hope that I can really DO IT this year.. haha.. go learn something new.. bring joy to others I hope.. engage myself in something useful and not waste it during stupid stuff like sleeping.

Second thing will be attending all band pracs! =) hmmm. I think I've been grumbling about band for the past few months. im sorry. but well.. maybe I want to end it nicely too.. It will mark my 4 years of band life.. Doubt that I will be in a jc band.. so.. do it and do it well! Yea.. passing down is in 5 days time.. will that really be the time I can leave band and really focus on my studies coz I think I've screwed so many things up. haha.. I dont want to regret anything. Really dont want to. No one knows what a jc life will be but I think jc people are all very feign.. boo.. no idea.. nvm shant think about this right now.

magie flutee.

went to school very early to practise. In the end, decided to use bass instead of tenor for magic flute. If not, my embouchure will spoil. alternating between tenor and bass trombone. well I guessed I am more accustomed to using bass. okay nice experience with string ensemble. haha.. yes. PLAY LOUDER. =)

okay. I seriously think physics is something that I can never ever understand. Was doing worksheets and my tuition teacher told me that there's 4 different ways of illustrating current flow.

1. D.C. motor: There are half split rings to change the direction of the current.
2. D.C. generator: The magnetic field causes current flow in the coil and direction is constant.
3. A.C motor: Magnets can change directions. Direction of current flow is constant.
4. A.C. generator: There are slip rings to reverse the direction of current flow.

Above are just very brief descriptions. There's a lot more to it. =x

I am confused.

Happy day. really enjoyed going out with you! thank you for everything! really really love you very much.. so glad that I have met you.. you've never failed to cheer me up when I am sad and and to stay by me when I needed someone.. Your shyness is so lovely and adorable and you're a super huggable person! *hugs* hmmm.. hope we can stay as friends forever! A big thank you! you will always be someone special in my heart (:

It really hurts to see you cry and to suffer in pain and I can't do anything to rectify the situation. I really wish I could help you out, but somehow I can't help but to agree with others that you've made a wrong decision last time. You've spent so much time on things that ain't exactly that important and you've neglected other stuff. Yes you like it but is it worth so much of your time and commitment? What exactly can you get out of it?

Since you're firm with your decision to stay where you are now, all of us will respect you. Make sure you don't regret k. And please stay happy. love you always.

guess what. I went sentosa again today! hahaha. OKay. wore a t-shirt to prevent myself from being burnt. hereby wishing yuxing happy birthday! played volleyball but I was too lousy! so I decided to cycle.. Mmmm. tong tong, kylie, wei teng, hui tian and me cycled. It was rather funny at some parts especially at the roundabout turn.. its very messy.. but haha its fun! and people were like staring at us for a bunch of girls are cycling in the middle of the road.. >.<

Played a lot. but I still feel weird. Every single day I cant seem to shake that person's image off my head. Or rather, its more than just one person. hmmm. 3 of them? and staying at sentosa made me think of last year.. boo. realised standing at the top of the tower is really cooling.. maybe i will go visit there again..

went town. no idea why I went there too but guessed I got nothing better to do. wanna visit town. and since zz was there the whole day I went to find him.. left after a while.. i hate the weather.

-slacker-

hoo hoo. tired. balloon hat. hmmm.

bluejack436@hotmail.com

I have got completely no idea who you are. plesase do not spam my tagboard. If I have offended you in one way or another, come straight to me and say it. If not, fuck off and keep you big mouth shut.

its 2.30am..