the evolution of a robot

I am feeling so drained. non-stop lesson from morning till late evening. so many tutorials and revision packages to adhere to. IM GOING BONKERS. rah! let me scream..

AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

mY Life is getting so mechanical. a few more months to go! i cannot let go and give up just like that. No. I won't. I need to find the strength to move on..

anyway! I am really tired. my eye bags are getting more and more obvious.. not exactly due to the lack of sleep but more of sleeping disorder. =(

Today was njco concert. i went to V hall. so many memories entailed. haha. what a night. I met many many people that I haven't met since last year. and xinling! nice seeing you. you look good =) stay strong and you'll pull through and overcome all the obstacles. haha. yuxing! my yx companion. u didn't change much but you're forever quarrelling with liting as usual.

ok. co concert. the last concert that I will attend. nice one overall. =)there are actually many good players inside. o and i saw jr's wife. looks as pretty as her wedding photos. smiles.

good night. i am so gonna K.O.

it's time to chiong studies!

somehow I just couldn't finish doing all the work. it's piling up every single day!

>.<

etude XXXII finally came to a close last night. everything happened too fast. it was hard to believe. Last year we were at the esplanade holding etude and this year it was at the conference hall. I really couldn't figure how I should really feel. I felt really calm on the way there. It's my 6th concert, and my last concert.

anyway! the silly me screwed the front part =( Mmm. Internal Combustion sounded good! It's brought back memories during the syf period. The endless hours of practises and the way all of us were drowned in the sea of work. Feeling hapless and lost about everything. It's probably something to remember for life as well. Stage band rawked the stage last night too! special thanks to josephine and nicholas for making it possible.

I played the second half with zest. making sure that every effort has been paid off. I know that everything was going to end and I glued my eyes to the conductor. I don't get much chance playing in a band, under the same conductor again. I don't wish the same thing to happen again. =)

Off we went with our encore pieces. We brought the whole house down. WE DID. everyone enjoyed Instant Concert. And I fell in love with the piece as well. Not forgetting jap graff IV. so much emotions entailed in the piece. I could feel a mixture of feelings surging within me. yes. I played the last note of the night with all my might. I just didn't want to let it go..

below are some photos I took! these are the people that I really love and treasure. a pity that yumin left early..





njcsb trombone 2007. GIRLS POWER!

me and wenqi with the flower from her, mp and py! thanks! ( and i think wq looks pretty in the photo! I saw py's photo with kakeru and she looks sexy. haha. but i didn't get to see her.. Mmm )

cheryl and harry! I seriously think that my mortal became v shuai! hahaha..and they look really sweet, don't you think so? thanks mortal for supporting me for the past 2 years! yes! you rawk! take care and I will see you, urm I don't know when =)

Justin, tong hai, kian pang and jimmy! thanks for coming =) hope tt u guys enjoyed the concert!

eunice joanne chokwan. my beloved darlings. I love all of you =) *hugs*

wenqi, justin and kp! 06s10! =)

This was the surprise of the night. My very qian bian senior actually did sth really sweet for the whole section. Thanks KARWAI!

appassionata XI ended with a bang. sorry for not being to play in the alumni. I will be back. coz you still hold a significant place in my heart.

Ok. njcsb shall give it's best too!

=)

I remember vividly the first day when he stepped into the classroom. I hated him. He didn't make sense and I could remember myself cursing after the class..

But now, he seemed to be one teacher that I will look for. It's just amazing how he keeps in contact with almost everyone, being a mentor, or rather just a friend to all of us.

met 2 teachers today. and I really miss them =) they're forever still so concerned about us even though we have graduated for quite some time. Simple words that they say can serve to be a source of motivation for us. yes. 4more months to go. we can't let in go just like that.

Mm. why is it that some people are so emotionally dependent on others? isn't it tiring? It seems as if one's mind is being manipulated by others but the truth is that the uncertainty that one feels is often the reason why they seek comfort in others. Does it make sense?

The world is complicated..

HELLO EVERYONE!

6 more days to my last concert. I am quite sure that this will be my last and njcsb will definitely rawk the stage. Despite spending so much time in band during my jc life, band is what I hold dearly to. The band room is a place where I will roam about when I got nothing to do in school. It provided me a space to hide myself from the rest of the world when I wanted to be alone. It is where I indulge myself in the world of music and meet people who have the burning passion for music! I love trombone! I love my section =)

I almost never did grumble about nj band taking much of my time. In fact, I never regreted re-entering band world.. It gave me a life. Exposed me to many things and undeniably, I have met friends that I would have otherwise missed if not for band. my life in nj is closely knitted to band, band and more band.

It feels really weird to play for this concert coz it's the last school concert that is left for the remaining journey. I enjoy every single moment of it. I know it has to be the best. And I will make it the best =) 6 more days. I don't know how time will just flash pass once more. No matter what, I am still proud to be a band member.. it's something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.. memories will not fade with the tickling of time.. in fact it will be remembered.

for those who are playing this concert as your first ever full public concert, give it your best shot okay! your seniors are really leaving very soon. After which njcsb will change a new face.. njcsb syf 2007 will never be back again. and for all my batch ppl, band is where we all came from. Music is what makes us cross each other's path in our lives.. I am glad to have met all of you and that we once shared a segment of our lives making music. you guys will be remembered.

k! that's all. rawk on guys! we're gonna bring the whole house down on 22nd July!

I felt really desparate and useless today. I just can't seem to get anything done. Mm..

lack of focus. lack of practice. sorry.

lack of time management. Lack of the ability to cope. sorry.

The whole week flashed passed. I did many things, only to find myself exhausted like a dead man everyday. It was great having a life. Having been confined for the 2weeks of june holidays happily studying for my cts, i broke free once more on thursday after my last paper. My conscious mind is moving too slow for my actual life and my brain couldn't register my daily happenings. let me write down everything before all these memories fade away..

28 June (thurs)..
it was the last paper. My brain couldn't really work. I was half guessing the MCQs. haha. I think that many people share the common fate as I do. After the paper my whole body almost collapsed. I have got completely no idea why it happened. I went out still with mp, wq, cheng n kek. we went bugis! haha. all of us were tired. REALLY tired from the lack of sleep and non-stop studying days. we couldn't care much. we just needed to walk around. I took 66 home with wq. the whole ride took us more than an hour. depsite the fact that train is faster, I couldn't resist the temptation to take bus home! anyway. I had a long chat with wq on the bus. we really had many stuff to share! =))

30 June (Saturday)..
band in the morning as usual. why is it that we always seem to be so tired every practice? I hope that we can find the source of motivation to keep the momentum! ate at ke ai ji and i went IMM to shop w my mum. It was the last the before the rise of GST from 5% to 7%! Shoppers thronged through shopping malls.. sales were put up everywhere! I went to clementi to meet my pri sch friends.Having heard about Botak Jones, i decided to go try it out. only kenneth n zq joined me for the dinner. nic n eugene came along later to join us for coffee at west mall coffee bean. The guys talked about ns. haha. i wonder how they will change in just a few months time. anyway! glad to know that everyone is doing fine..

1July (Sunday)..
I PACKED MY CLOSET AND FOUND A SHIRT FOR MY BEAR! =)

2jULY (Monday)..
watched transformers =)it's a nice show! and i like bumblebee! haha.. can't believe that we actually went to the east to watch it and thanks panda for buying the tickets a day earlier! if not we probably would not have missed the show.. the evening and night was spent at somehow very relaxing. One place where one will feel worry-free. It simply brings you to another world. Wonder when I will get a chance to go there again.. mm.. thanks for bringing me out =)

3jUlY (Tues)..
day out with quiny, yumin, shizhen n zj.. i miss quin! i miss shopping with her and I miss everyday moments that we once shared. we tried to take neo print and came to the conclusion that we lost our creativity and the artistic talent in designing our photos.. we had fun anyway! shall update the photo someday.. we went back to ny too. talked to the teachers and mr chan. haha. I DON'T UNDERSTAND PHYSICS. I REALLY DON'T. had family dinner out coz it's mum's chinese birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

4jULY (wed)..
enrichment week started. I felt so cheated by the chocolate making session.the supposed 3-hr session ended up to be 2.5hrs of "TEAMBUILDING" talk. -_____-" what a total waste of our time! we were told to design some packaging that is a total waste of our time.. the remaining time was spend MIXING the chocolate they gave us with nuts and cornflakes. Sigh. all these for 25 bucks? *shakes my head*

had physics. mr yong did inspire me to a certain extent. such idealistic life can hardly be found in reality. yes. we need the attitude and belief to succeed. but but but. physics is still hard =( Mm. the last activity was biz etiquette workshop. learnt quite a bit on the proper mannerisms.. the way to dress and the actions that we should be aware of. band resumed at 5.30pm. I was half dead by then and I couldn't pitch any high notes at all. bleh. I need to improve! I don't want to disappoint people..

5 jUlY (thurs)..
went back for ny alumni. a bad night. I don't want to elaborate. thanks james for listening to my crap.. sigh~

6jULY (fri)

WHICH IS TODAY!!!

FINALLY!

haha. anyway. went for Adult CPR course. it was interesting as we learnt how to save people by doing CPR. It wasn't easy. I do until my hands are aching. it's very hard to press the manikin and you need ALOT of strength.. *ouch*
the good thing is, we all passed in the end! yes! =)

so many things within a week. there's more to come for the next week. hope that i can survive! I'm drowning. I need to sort my priorities..

my life is such an irony!

anyway. i met up with quin, zj, ym n shiz yesterday and it was really great though i was kind of tired as well. i really want to go back for alumni prac but i don't think i can take it.

ok. i shall not sigh so much! let's hope for the better. and wenqi! thanks for your tag *hugs* =)