I wasn't very happy yesterday upon self-realization of a fact that has long existed.

I know that I have very high expectations of myself and that's probably why I didn't enjoy things with others. I get stressed up easily and people near me will get stressed by me somehow even though I have no intention of making them feel that way..

..and that's why I am always doing things alone.

Sigh. Maybe I am destined to be a solo worker such that I wouldn't inflict any stress on others. I seriously wonder how many people can stand my work attitude..

yupp. perhaps there's more things for me to do. perhaps there's more things for me to learn as well. I haven't quite found the right way of doing stuff all the time.

Alright. enough of the sad moments. Let's talk about something happier. I visited grandpa today and everytime I see him, it reminds me of a relative.

Mmm. I hate the way you ignore him apart from saying hi when he's all fine or ill. I hate you for not showing enough care. and most importantly, I HATE YOU for scruntinizing him like a specimen when you've got more medical knowledge. I REALLY DON'T LIKE the feeling when you analyze him like your specimen and then try to deduce what's wrong with him. Yes I know you wanted to apply your knowledge but please don't do that. It's so irritating to see you show your supercial love and concern all of a sudden.

I really HATE it.

Somehow, I just want to be protective of those that I love..